Slow-living Champion Gifts

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

Old Karate Master

'I remember when your dad still had a full mane and his own canines... back in his wild days.'

"Now that I'm getting older it takes more than a single bound to leap a tall building."

"Shouldn't you boys be out fighting crime somewhere?" "Yeah, yeah, whatever." "I could use another beer while you're up." "I ain't goin' on no airplane!" "Anyone pay the cable bill?" The A-Hole Team

"Seriously, fellas, I can't get up."

"Sorry, but your life moves so slowly that the ball keeps timing out."

"Cricket...six minutes of excitement crammed into six hours!"

You know you're getting old... when your barber spends more time on your eyebrows and ears than on the hairs on your head.

'So June, do you think we should get a stairlift or just move to a bungalow...because, let's face it, we're getting on and here will come a point...when you won't be able to carry me up the stairs anymore.'

'I can't remember. Edith, am I forgetful?'

"Dude, I don't mind watching your holiday video, but can you fast-forward it please..."

"If I ever feel that life's moving too fast, I just stand in the prescriptions queue..."

'Don't worry -- we'll have you up and around in five or six years!'

"Sure I'm impressed...but it's three weeks old."

'I used to live for the moment, but now I'm comfortable waiting 3 to 5 business days.'

'Get the ball, Leonard! The winning run is rounding second base! You've only got a matter of hours before he scores!'

'When did the world get into such a big hurry?'

Sign at Hospital: 'Road to Recovery ... Under Construction'

'I'm at the point in life where I don't care about the past, I live in the moment.'

"We missed out on the quality of life index again."

"We need to hurry to your next extracurricular activity before the void of my unfulfilled ambitions catches up."

'I want some that are past their best for her fiftieth birthday.'

A tortoise

There once was a person who planted a seed

Sign outside tortoise shell: 'Out to lunch'.

Business is slow, thank goodness.

"Mr. Green and I should be there in about 2 hours!"

'...and that concludes this five-hour seminar on 'slow life'.'

Tortoise: I've been fired from the Marching Band: I couldn't keep up...

"It's those creative types you ought to be checking on."

"I come with my own cubicle."

"I won't be in today, I've got a swollen joint."

'Sorry, I don't brake for small animals.'