Convalescing Champion T-Shirts

Sign at Hospital: 'Road to Recovery ... Under Construction'

'No swimming. No breathing.'

Alarmistclock

Old Karate Master

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

"I'm so happy to be back in the workforce I'll never complain out loud again about Mondays."

"Seriously, fellas, I can't get up."

He's got a long painful road to recovery. Those are pretty severe burns. In the meantime, try to keep him upbeat to avoid depression. Then again, we can't exactly have him walking on sunshine either... That's what got him here.

"Ninety days, catnip-free. I couldn't have done it without you."

You know you're getting old... when your barber spends more time on your eyebrows and ears than on the hairs on your head.

Dear Medication, how are you? I'm feeling much better thanks to you?/ Finally she began responding to treatment.

'So June, do you think we should get a stairlift or just move to a bungalow...because, let's face it, we're getting on and here will come a point...when you won't be able to carry me up the stairs anymore.'

'I used to live for the moment, but now I'm comfortable waiting 3 to 5 business days.'

'I'm at the point in life where I don't care about the past, I live in the moment.'

The Voluntary Sector takes a beating

"I didn't think this shift was ever going to end, YOU are in for a long day my friend, and water-bottle is going to have to come in early."

"We need to hurry to your next extracurricular activity before the void of my unfulfilled ambitions catches up."

"To think just a few weeks ago he was a lazy bum and now he's saving the world!"

'I want some that are past their best for her fiftieth birthday.'

Get well soon.

'I'm all in favour of alternative medicine, using boiled twigs and chanting has cut our drug budget in half.'

Isolation Olympics

"Nothing stops my pursuit of inertia."

Modern Accomplisments

Holding your breath for any length of time is harder than you think!

Beach Bums

"According to personnel staff are working an average of 10 hours unpaid overtime a week."

"We self isolated 27 years ago."

Probation Officer

Chemotherapy male warrior

"Please, Doc - nothing too aggressive. I'm kind of attached to my symptoms."

"You mean I was cheering for a concussion?"