Convalescing Champion T-Shirts

Sign at Hospital: 'Road to Recovery ... Under Construction'

'No swimming. No breathing.'

Alarmistclock

Old Karate Master

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

"I'm so happy to be back in the workforce I'll never complain out loud again about Mondays."

Professor Ernie's history of philosophy. Rene Descartes had a difficult childhood. I think, therefore I am! I know you are, but what am I?!

"Seriously, fellas, I can't get up."

It's called "taking a nap," Lance, and no, I don't want to see any Rorschach inkblots.

He's got a long painful road to recovery. Those are pretty severe burns. In the meantime, try to keep him upbeat to avoid depression. Then again, we can't exactly have him walking on sunshine either... That's what got him here.

You know you're getting old... when your barber spends more time on your eyebrows and ears than on the hairs on your head.

"Ninety days, catnip-free. I couldn't have done it without you."

Dear Medication, how are you? I'm feeling much better thanks to you?/ Finally she began responding to treatment.

'So June, do you think we should get a stairlift or just move to a bungalow...because, let's face it, we're getting on and here will come a point...when you won't be able to carry me up the stairs anymore.'

'I used to live for the moment, but now I'm comfortable waiting 3 to 5 business days.'

'I'm at the point in life where I don't care about the past, I live in the moment.'

'I remember when you were this high!'

The Voluntary Sector takes a beating

"I didn't think this shift was ever going to end, YOU are in for a long day my friend, and water-bottle is going to have to come in early."

"To think just a few weeks ago he was a lazy bum and now he's saving the world!"

'I want some that are past their best for her fiftieth birthday.'

"We need to hurry to your next extracurricular activity before the void of my unfulfilled ambitions catches up."

'I'm all in favour of alternative medicine, using boiled twigs and chanting has cut our drug budget in half.'

Isolation Olympics

"Nothing stops my pursuit of inertia."

Holding your breath for any length of time is harder than you think!

Modern Accomplisments

Get well soon.

Beach Bums

Chemotherapy male warrior

Probation Officer

"According to personnel staff are working an average of 10 hours unpaid overtime a week."

"I won't be in today, I've got a swollen joint."

"We self isolated 27 years ago."

"Please, Doc - nothing too aggressive. I'm kind of attached to my symptoms."