Slow-cooker Sleuth T-Shirts

'There's something wrong with the slow cooker. I check it every minute but nothing's cooking!'

The Huge-Underground Vat theory of why all wonton soup tastes exactly the same.

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

A man with a sign that reads "Secret of my chili $1".

"What the heck did I do with that leftover turkey?!"

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

"Mrs. Simpson would like the recipe for your 'delicious steak pie', dear. Do you think you could dig the packet out of the recycling tub?"

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

Horse meat scandal.

'You're lucky you can't read.'

"Chef keeps the secrets of his sauces close to his chest"

'Police. We have reason to believe you've been hacking into your neighbor's computers and stealing their recipes.'

"CSI Tulsa"

'We don't want your business; we just want the recipe.'

I'm a long order cook.

'There's a lamb chop in my soup.' - 'Oh, that's where it got to. It belongs to table six.'

CIA Cafeteria: 'It's nice of you to ask, but the recipe is classified.'

"I'm telling you. . . something's not right with this coffee."

"It's called The Pastry Shop Mystery. A real Whodoughnut."

That elusive Pecorino!

"Apparently, some of the additives cause a nerve disorder, but others cure it."

Arthur Conan Doyle

Trainspotter spotting: 'Gosh! A type 406 with original thermos.'

'Well, SURE our customers want more nutritional information, but what about OUR privacy?'

"The secret was in the sauce."

'Waiter, there are no vowels in my alphabet soup!'

"I secretly put decaf in my office coffeemaker so all of my coworkers work at my speed.'

'Thanks for the best birthday gift I ever got...a slow cooker.'

Scrutinising a burger under a magnifying glass.

'C'mon, Bill, LOOK at the evidence! A fabulous home-made crust, fresh apples, raisins, gourmet vanilla ice cream, and no sign of a struggle. This guy was definitely killed by kindness!'