Slob-in-style Gifts

A man watching t.v. with his skull hinged open to reveal the same man watching the same t.v. . . .

Homo Gamus

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

'Every time I turn my back, he's learned another one of your bad habits.'

Love is... when your puppy licks you face without knowing where it's been.

State of the Union

'Rex, you've slobbered all over the ball! There's no way I'd put it in my mouth now!'

'You're a filthy pig, Gordon! I guess that's why I love you so much.'

'How can you bear to sit around doing nothing? You're right, I think I'll have a nap.'

"I'm running a loose ship."

'Bill remembers where he was everybody died.'

"I'm afraid he's right-there's nothing in here about slobber balls."

'Must you eat without your shirt on? The crumbs falling into your navel are beginning to compost.'

House Hubby.

"He started off with a lazy eye and it spread to his whole body."

'Call yourself domesticated!'

'My husband is a police detective. He does know how to toss a room.'

'He's a great dog...a bit of a drooler though.'

'What do you expect Marjorie, I am a grub.'

'He's lost his mobile phone - it must be in his chair somewhere!'

"I know, same here. Angsting about the Zeitgeist like there is no tomorrow."

Couch potato with tator tots.

"It's either a powercut or we're watching the microwave oven."

'It doesn't get any better than this.' 'That's what has me worried.'

"Disgusting! I'm never going to get this guy properly trained! I think I'll just abandon him somewhere!"

'Leonard has hidden qualities, and they're best LEFT hidden.'

"Meet my husband, Mr Couch Potato, and our son...Tater Tot."

"Bad dog! You're a bad dog!"

"The landlord says that there are no animals allowed in this apartment. You've got to move out."

'He's a case of unintelligent design.'