Slob Chic Fan T-Shirts

"I know, same here. Angsting about the Zeitgeist like there is no tomorrow."

Homo Gamus

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

"Tracey, this is Gene. He also read the Nancy Reagan book in unbound galleys."

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

'I'm just curious, which one of you was dropped off by their boyfriend on a really fast motorcycle?'

Love is... when your puppy licks you face without knowing where it's been.

'You're a filthy pig, Gordon! I guess that's why I love you so much.'

'Rex, you've slobbered all over the ball! There's no way I'd put it in my mouth now!'

'How can you bear to sit around doing nothing? You're right, I think I'll have a nap.'

A man watching t.v. with his skull hinged open to reveal the same man watching the same t.v. . . .

'Bill remembers where he was everybody died.'

'I'll count to ten thousand: Go and hide...'

"I'm running a loose ship."

Gallery Guide

'Must you eat without your shirt on? The crumbs falling into your navel are beginning to compost.'

House Hubby.

"He started off with a lazy eye and it spread to his whole body."

'Call yourself domesticated!'

'My husband is a police detective. He does know how to toss a room.'

'He's lost his mobile phone - it must be in his chair somewhere!'

'What do you expect Marjorie, I am a grub.'

'You two have something in common.'

Sloth works out on running machine: 'I'm on my break.'

'It doesn't get any better than this.' 'That's what has me worried.'

'Don't push it, son. You can't become a couch potato until you've mastered being a chair spud.'

Energy Drinks

'Leonard has hidden qualities, and they're best LEFT hidden.'

Evolution...the illuminated sloth.

"The landlord says that there are no animals allowed in this apartment. You've got to move out."

'He's a case of unintelligent design.'

"To think a daughter of mine gets caught shoplifting cheap cosmetics. What have I taught you? Go for luxury brands."