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State of the Union

"It's either a powercut or we're watching the microwave oven."

Homo Gamus

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

'Every time I turn my back, he's learned another one of your bad habits.'

Doctcom

'You're a filthy pig, Gordon! I guess that's why I love you so much.'

"I'm running a loose ship."

'Bill remembers where he was everybody died.'

Geographical Society Christmas Dinner.

A man watching t.v. with his skull hinged open to reveal the same man watching the same t.v. . . .

'Hey! You forgot the TV!'

American Idle

'Must you eat without your shirt on? The crumbs falling into your navel are beginning to compost.'

House Hubby.

"He started off with a lazy eye and it spread to his whole body."

'What do you expect Marjorie, I am a grub.'

'My husband is a police detective. He does know how to toss a room.'

'He's lost his mobile phone - it must be in his chair somewhere!'

"I know, same here. Angsting about the Zeitgeist like there is no tomorrow."

'Call yourself domesticated!'

Whoever said 'change was inevitable' never saw Fred's underwear.

Couch potato with tator tots.

'It doesn't get any better than this.' 'That's what has me worried.'

"Next year we can afford two weeks in Spain, or a drive around the block."

"They'd be further behind other countries in Geography if they could name more countries."

"Disgusting! I'm never going to get this guy properly trained! I think I'll just abandon him somewhere!"

'One day son, all this will be yours.'

"Meet my husband, Mr Couch Potato, and our son...Tater Tot."

'Leonard has hidden qualities, and they're best LEFT hidden.'

"The landlord says that there are no animals allowed in this apartment. You've got to move out."

'He's a case of unintelligent design.'