Slippery Floor Strategist Gifts

"You're home early!"

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

McMorkim's Cheeses Security A gang of mice wheeling in a giant mousetrap with Pizza and Beer as bait to a Security Guard's post hoping to gain access to a cheese Factory if the Guard is trapped.

"I AM at my usual position."

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

'She'll never look for me here.'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"I can't decide whether to get upset and wake him up... or wait and see if it works!"

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'

'I am constantly diversifying my toy portfolio.'

"And when conventional theories don't work, we've got Charnier here to do us a spot of voodoo marketing."

"Saturn. No contest. A deadly, treacherous gas giant ringed by a gossamer halo of ice. It symbolizes both death and life. Both evil and good. It symbolizes existence itself."

'What makes you think we want to sell you son.'

"My mommy suggested I try a different advertising approach."

"Game of checkers? Okay, but I'm watching every move you make."

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

Punishment for the kicker.

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?" "Sure." "Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits?" "You sure this is for your dog?" "Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?"

'You'll want Mr. Pigglesworth's version of the story too, I assume?'

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

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'If you know what's good for you Allan, you'll let me pass.'

Business cartoon showing a business man headed toward 'blame'.

'This time, put it someplace where we can find it.'