Slinky Lover Pillows

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

The Snarky District

"I said slime."

Slinky Cow World

Cupcake Excitement Scale

Homo Zapiens

Monster Baseball

"Don't these fools realize they're violating every principle of feng-shui?"

Apocalliptical

Tee for Two!

'Boy, there are days I feel like doing even less than I usually do...'

"I don't think there's anything wrong with your fitness watch: It's just that you haven't moved enough to trigger it..."

"This is not what I meant when I said 'let's chill'."

Feart!

"Just remember, when he says 'indie' he means Indianapolis."

Slug Hospitals

When Dick quit, he walked off with the company Slushy fund!'

"Relax and enjoy the game! Relax and enjoy the game!..."

"You won’t like Hulk when he’s off his Zoloft."

'What makes you think they're modern fakes?'

'Dude, check it out!'

"When you say everything is 'Wicked good' it feels like you're patronizing us."

'Spend all morning on a cryptorchidectomy...'

"You were right, dear, slippers, shiny floor and a grouting gun don't mix."

"Sorry, but until spring I need to improve my play from the rough."

'Great team. Brilliant coach. No ball handler...'

'The pizza guy wants to know what floor we're on.'

'Found a fossil of a frog and toad!'

'Yes, I realize that a salt with a deadly weapon is frightening, but I only keep it to protect my family - and I always keep the safety on.

"I attract all the crypts."

I love Horror Films