Sling Wearer Gifts

Man carring a child sees his silhoutte,which makes him look pregnant.

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

Beach hats

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

"A trillion bottles of beer on the wall, a trillion bottles of beer..."

"It all happened so fast. 'Notable Book of the Year' to the remainder shelves to HERE in just six months!"

"Looking cool in a car takes practice."

Meet the author

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

"I've read all your books and seen all your plays, and I wear your 'Gimme' cap."

The novel was printed and in the stores ... any minute now, the world would beat down his door.

Oog is an expert at throwing stones at things - he's a "rock-it" scientist.

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

Freedom

"I'm not trying to be cool, I'm just making sure the crocodile hunters won't see my eyes reflected in their searchlight..."

Whatever!

"No wonder you can't write, you're not plugged in!"

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

'The first thing we will do is select a block captain.'

'Shh, Ben's running it right to us. That's his 'I've got everything under control' howl.'

Pianist-boxer

Vote Grinkley! Now you see him, now you don't.

So you've lost your journalism job. Yep and my freelance contracts. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Free distribution of information is driving publishers out of business. I can't compete against thousands of free blogs. Twenty years I spent learning to be a professional journalist and I'm a dinosaur. What'd you say? I was reading Gawker. Shoot me.

"I just want to say thanks for getting me into this writing group."

"Love the tie, Chad—that is so pimp!"

Skywriter's Block

"We're still pretty far apart. I'm looking for a six-figure advance and they're refusing to read the manuscript."

'Ed' 'Op-ed'

"Yeah, that's right...ignore me, pal! You don't want an instrument of my excellence and awesomeness that would instantly make you a chick magnet and the envy of all your friends!..."

'This week's column is going to be about Writer's Block, and it's...'

"You're a writer? But what do you do for money?"

Stock Market - Bull vs Bear

'Are you sure this is the only way to get rid of your writers block?'