Slicer Connoisseur Pillows

"We want two pizzas, in small, nonconsecutive slices."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Counting ribs

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

The Main Types of Cheese

"I come here for the pepper."

Full English Breakfast.

Cheese

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

"My smelly French cheese is much better than your Canadian beef."

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

Rejoice! It's time to celebrate the baby cheeses!

The Running of the Brie

"Just toot my horn and I'll be there."

'Is this a party, a cheese and wine do, a cocktail party, a soiree or just another of your old cronies get-togethers?'

"Of course I love you more than cheese. What a silly question. In fact, cheese and I are just friends. Nothing's going on between cheese and me."

this bordeaux speaks for itself

'Do I really have to remind you again about which one of us earns the truffles, Jean-Claude?'

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

Great moments in 'Haute Cuisine'. . . America gives the world the Donut Sandwich.

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

'Some blue-arsed fly you turned out to be.'

'This 'homework,' was it done today?'