Sleeptime Story Lover Pillows

"After tonight you're going to need a prescription."

Love at First Sight

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

Chiller Theatre

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"Son, you can't get blood from a turnip!"

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

"Go figure: nobody wanted to kiss me when I was an ugly prince, but now, somehow, pretty girls are lining up!"

"I just never 'think I can' anymore."

Hansel and Gretel Day School.

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

'Come on, girl! I know you can do it! Jump over the moon!'

Fyodor Dostoevsky

Ghost puddle

'We're out of water, Jack. Time to go back up the hill to fetch a pail.'

Toys were me: lessons learned never growing up

'I wonder how Curious George fits into all this?'

Contented man and cat sleeping

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

Halloween Support Group

'I'm a perfect little angel while I'm asleep. It's being awake that causes me trouble.'

"Now here's a tale that'll make you hair stand on end"

Ghost frightens the photo booth.

"He's right―there is something under the bed!"

'There's an imposter among us!'