Sleep Interrupters Gifts

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

Noisy energy?

"Yes, I am interested in taking a fresh look at my holdings."

When you get worried, and you can't sleep, count your blessings instead of sheep...

'Ever notice how when Dad snores the whole house shakes?'

A man's brain is in a glass on his bed stand next to his dentures.

"For the perfect sedative, take the juice from a bottle of whisky..."

Don't have nightmares!

He's mumbling again! What do you think husbands dream about?

'I'm sleepy all the time.'

"Can I borrow your cage cover? Ed's really snoring tonight."

'You were Tolkien in your sleep again...'

'It's the most amazing case of rapid eye movement I've ever seen.'

You look tired, Rudy. Nah, I'm actually not tired. Why don't you go take a break. I'll man the counter for you. That's ok, Uncle Mort. Look at those bags beneath your eyes. And … are those wrinkles I see there? Did you know you age faster if you don't sleep? I'm on to you, Uncle Mort. You want me to step away so you can fix yourself an Espresso. Your doctors said no caffeine. You sound paranoid, Rudy. You're seeing duplicity everywhere. That's a symptom of sleep deprivation. I'm just thinking ab

"I wasn't talking in my sleep. I was negotiating."

"I set up the sensors. He sees you when you're sleeping."

'My theory is he's faking sleep in order to get the $50 for the study.'

'A cure for insomnia is a good night's sleep.'

I got a few things to help me sleep. A breathing strip, earplugs, eye mask and a super pillow. Nighty night, honey. Now I can't sleep.

'Wake up honey, you're roaring again.'

"Come and get me, coppers!"

'I hate to admit it, but I counted sheep all night.'

Insomniacs Anonymous - No Snoring

Darth Vader advertises nasal strips.

"For a great day's sleep you can't beat out new line of memory foam coffins."

"Good night!"

'Fritz...Fritz..You're roaring again.'

'Your lectures cured my sleep disorder.'

"That smart pillow must know you snore. It's wearing earmuffs."

"Wake up Jeff. You're snoring again!"

'He's just been getting the baby off to sleep.'

"We start your sleep apnea training tonight. Are you familiar with Pavlov's dog?"

Now for the news: The sales of sleeping pills are skyrocketing. But why? Why are Americans having trouble relaxing at night? We interrupt for this breaking news: Coronavirus, murder bees, unemployment, an appliance that could kill you! Back to our top story – A concerned media asks: Why are Americans so stressed out?

'Sorry to disappoint you, but being a self-confessed 'lazy bastard'...'

'Honey, you're talking in your sleep again!'