Sleep Health Advocates Pillows

'It's the worst possible diagnosis a bear can receive -- sleep apnea.'

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

"I think I need an extra pillow."

Wordplay: Hibernation.

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

Broken Alarm Clock.

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

'Don't take this the wrong way, Honey, but not only have I decided to hibernate this year, but I want to hibernate in the spare room...'

'I hate counting sheep. I get enough math at school.'

"What's with your hair?"

"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."

"Let's go to sleep so that when we wake up today will be tomorrow."

Baby zipping himself up then going to sleep

"You were snoring."

"I like to come prepared for meetings."

'It's a soothing sounds machine. Spring Rain, Summer Breeze, and Fall School Bus.'

The next step in executive efficiency - Microsoft PowerNap.

"Well, NOW I can't sleep worrying about how much we spent on this high-tech mattress!"

"The early bird may get the worm, but the late bird gets delicious table scraps."

'She let the bedbugs bite.'

Fish sleeps while counting worms that jump over a fence.

"Would you mind getting me the Ambien, the Tiger Balm, three cookies, a cup of tea and a pillow for my legs?"

'Was it the non-flying dream again?'

A man's brain is in a glass on his bed stand next to his dentures.

"I don't care if we did hibernate all Winter, I'm still tired."

'Doctor, I'm tired all the time.'

'These pajamas come with a flak jacket sewn into the lining to protect against the 'Stop Snoring' elbow in the ribs.'

'Gravity wins - again.'