Sleep Advocates Pillows

'The gray sedan on the left. Its car alarm ruined my nap!'

"He fights me when I tell him to take a nap. When I reword it and say go reboot, he doesn't have a problem."

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

"I think I need an extra pillow."

Wordplay: Hibernation.

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

Broken Alarm Clock.

'I hate counting sheep. I get enough math at school.'

'Don't take this the wrong way, Honey, but not only have I decided to hibernate this year, but I want to hibernate in the spare room...'

"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."

"Let's go to sleep so that when we wake up today will be tomorrow."

Baby zipping himself up then going to sleep

"You were snoring."

"I like to come prepared for meetings."

"What's with your hair?"

'It's the worst possible diagnosis a bear can receive -- sleep apnea.'

'It's a soothing sounds machine. Spring Rain, Summer Breeze, and Fall School Bus.'

The next step in executive efficiency - Microsoft PowerNap.

"Well, NOW I can't sleep worrying about how much we spent on this high-tech mattress!"

"I don't care if we did hibernate all Winter, I'm still tired."

"The early bird may get the worm, but the late bird gets delicious table scraps."

'What he lacks in intelligence he makes up for in stupidity.'

Fish sleeps while counting worms that jump over a fence.

A man's brain is in a glass on his bed stand next to his dentures.

'Was it the non-flying dream again?'

"Would you mind getting me the Ambien, the Tiger Balm, three cookies, a cup of tea and a pillow for my legs?"

'She let the bedbugs bite.'

'Doctor, I'm tired all the time.'