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'What do you call a blonde doing hand stands? A brunette.'

6 Quarantine-Friendly Fashions

Bad hair day!

People in the mirror may be more attractive than they appear.

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

Beauty is in the eye of the manipulator.

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

The Stat-shoe of Liberty.

Shoe addict.

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

Pampered and poodled.

"I don't like your application."

My Bangs: A Play in 5 Acts

The Young Ladies' Young Gentleman

Ski lift mobile

'Excuse me Ma'am, do you mind if I smoke?'

'Trust me, it's very proper to mix stripes.'

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

"A naked dress is perfect when you have nothing to wear."

Dolores is so avant garde.

"Who's a pretty girl now?"

'I think there's been some mistake...'

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

All it takes is a little willpower and a good metabolism...

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

"Next time you meet me dressed as a giant boy, it's going to cost you a pair of diamond earrings."

Redecorating Easter Island.

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

Cinderella insisted on always having glass slippers - even into old age...

"Would the gentleman care for a razor and comb to start?"

"It's a nice halo and all, but I'm not sure it matches my outfit."

"Perhaps a cozy scarf to go with the hat?"

Half-Price Haircut and Half-Cut Price Hair.