Skunk Whisperer T-Shirts

'Your shoe's untied.'

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

Turtle Hat

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

Business man sees himself as a shark

Snake with 'toxic' sign around it's neck.

'That's a quack-quack'. Ornithological conference.

"You've definitely got water retention..."

So those are your 'weapons of mass destruction? - Slugs?

'Ever notice how when Dad snores the whole house shakes?'

Squirrel chopping wooden leg of lumberjack.

"I just sold my entire back catalogue of songs for $185 million."

The definitive turning point in The Great Terrier-Squirrel War was the now-famous Trojan Acorn Maneuver.

"Well, he's a squirrel, so yes, he's a hoarder, but that does not help come Winter: he hoards books, not nuts!"

"Bingo, it's the hippy lady again! She always throws something interesting: last week it was honey-beer bread..."

Obedience School.

"Don't be afraid of sharks. They generally attack only when provoked."

Don't have nightmares!

'Don't you think it's strange that all snakes are Aries, Taurus or Gemini...?'

'I'm not hibernating there again - I got the heebie-jeebies being around so many snakes!'

'I'm struggling with Empty Pouch Syndrome.'

'Noise? When you've been married as long as I have, it goes in one ear and out the other.'

DOG PARK - 'I can't believe they allow squirrels in here!'

"I wasn't talking in my sleep. I was negotiating."

"I hear the food's good. But try to get a table."

"Typical, you knew my mother was coming today, so you had to have a big meal to be torpid for a few days!"

'Mrs Fenton, next time we have a neurotic snowman booked, get the payment up-front!'

"Sorry Bob, but it looks like your Pilot Fish was collateral damage in the feeding frenzy..."

Another episode of History Revealed!

"There's no such thing as 'just' ducky."

"Pardon me, Karen. Would you be filling the bird feeder soon? Asking for a friend..."

'And you call yourself a hoop snake?'

'Looks like you're having a pretty good season, eh Ben?'