Skulls T-Shirts

'It's a fake - but all the hanging around the water cooler is down 57%!'

A skeleton in a Tattoo parlor getting the skeleton's version of the Skull and crossbones

"It's official"..."It's a drought!"

Love at First Sight

'Hamlet'

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

Then, after 3.7 million years...something funny happened.

'Not only do we have no natural enemies we have no natural friends.'

In case of overcrowding in the ER break glass.

"It makes you look old."

"I realize your steak was tough but you didn't have to make such a stink about it."

Rock on Grandma!

"I'm here to join the riot squad: you see, I have a natural ability to disperse crowds. . ."

"Remember, son, you can be anything you want to be...except for maybe an aroma therapist."

'He's the star of a new medical series.'

Punkcakes

Shakespearean Actor

"It's just thrived since I let it have Harry!"

The Power of Positive Stinking

"Skunk! How is it?"

'Take some more. You need the calories.'

X-ray of body shows skull.

'I hope no one thinks this ride is a bromance.'

"We can stop the bombardment - the castle surrendered."

"No offense."

The Forensic Paleontologist

'Darling, I told you not to call me at work.'

"Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio."

"I wonder why we're not getting any new converts."

"I've just had the most horrible dream!"

Sand timer with cow skull caught in middle,

'Whose bright idea was that gift?'

Boris Johnson related to Mummy

"I wonder how much he paid for that view."

Twisters