Skincare Specialist Pillows

"A Leading cosmetics company believes our drilling mud would ake an excellent skincare product."

"Your ears seek wisdom, but your lips seek Himalayan lip balm."

'It's a pimple alright. And it looks like it's ready to pop.'

Mooseturizer: Tired of those annoying Dry and Chafed antlers?

"Apparently it helps to prevent scaly skin."

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

"Round and round the cauldron we go, in the exfoliating toner I throw."

"Did you check the SPF, dear?"

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

"Too much concealer?"

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

PROBLEM AREAS

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

'You need to do something about your dry skin.'

'Apply that ointment as directed and call me if the growth does not reduce or it starts to talk.'

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

Desert Dermatologist

New Twenty Blades

"At our age we should be moisturizing." "Honey, we started years ago... with our lips."

"Well, what number sunscreen are you using?"

"Sure I used drugs when I was your age, but they were all prescribed for acne."

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

'You do Botox?'

Sunburn lotion, Windburn lotion.

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

"Do you have anything that can help remove dark circles from under my eyes?"

'You've got dry scalp.'

'Do something, Alan...he's been playing in the mud again!'

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

"More concealer?"