Skincare Specialist Pillows

"A Leading cosmetics company believes our drilling mud would ake an excellent skincare product."

"Your ears seek wisdom, but your lips seek Himalayan lip balm."

'It's a pimple alright. And it looks like it's ready to pop.'

Mooseturizer: Tired of those annoying Dry and Chafed antlers?

"Apparently it helps to prevent scaly skin."

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

"Round and round the cauldron we go, in the exfoliating toner I throw."

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

"Did you check the SPF, dear?"

"Too much concealer?"

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

PROBLEM AREAS

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

Pop Culture for Teens

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

'I don't think of my skin as saggy...I think of it as relaxed-fit!'

'You need to do something about your dry skin.'

'Apply that ointment as directed and call me if the growth does not reduce or it starts to talk.'

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"At our age we should be moisturizing." "Honey, we started years ago... with our lips."

New Twenty Blades

"Well, what number sunscreen are you using?"

Desert Dermatologist

"Sure I used drugs when I was your age, but they were all prescribed for acne."

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

Sunburn lotion, Windburn lotion.

'You do Botox?'

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

"More concealer?"

"Another barnacle?!" "I was a teenage creature."

'Do something, Alan...he's been playing in the mud again!'