Skincare Professional Pillows

"Acne"

"Well, what number sunscreen are you using?"

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"Round and round the cauldron we go, in the exfoliating toner I throw."

"Did you check the SPF, dear?"

"Too much concealer?"

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

PROBLEM AREAS

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

'You need to do something about your dry skin.'

'Apply that ointment as directed and call me if the growth does not reduce or it starts to talk.'

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

Desert Dermatologist

New Twenty Blades

"Sure I used drugs when I was your age, but they were all prescribed for acne."

"At our age we should be moisturizing." "Honey, we started years ago... with our lips."

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

'You do Botox?'

Sunburn lotion, Windburn lotion.

"More concealer?"

"Do you have anything that can help remove dark circles from under my eyes?"

"Another barnacle?!" "I was a teenage creature."

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

'Do something, Alan...he's been playing in the mud again!'

'You've got dry scalp.'

"Yikes! So many foundations, so little time."