Skin Care Consultant Pillows

"I'm old. What's good for that?"

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

PROBLEM AREAS

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

'Apply that ointment as directed and call me if the growth does not reduce or it starts to talk.'

"Well, what number sunscreen are you using?"

Desert Dermatologist

"Botox."

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

"Oh my gosh — so sorry! Those were extensions!"

'As pizza maker, maybe a skin care products site isn't the best idea for an affiliate site.'

"More concealer?"

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

"Here they come: Detox and Botox."

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

'I assure you madam, that the uglification factor of this mirror is no greater than the nationally accepted one-to-one standard.'

Dermatology: Journal of Itchcraft.

'A large Swiss Pharmaceuticals company has expressed serious interest in my potion.'

'Doctor, how can I prevent wrinkles? Don't sleep in your clothes.'

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Sebum! I think you'll love this property on the left side of the chin. It's a wonderful place to start a pimple."

"It isn't fair! Why aren't thin lips fashionable?"

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

"A Leading cosmetics company believes our drilling mud would ake an excellent skincare product."

"You were smart to come see, Mr. Lewis. These moles on your back definitely look suspicious."

"After practicing dermatology every day, maybe you should try branching out from those warts-and-all biographies."

Our manicure special today is 'Text Message Tips.' I contour your nails so you can hit all those tiny little keys!

"The perfume is only £20, the antidote is £250!"

"One day, I'll have teeth like pearls...skin like silk...and a mind like a steel trap!"

The world's most successful beauty blogger...

Fortune teller sits beneath a sign 'Wrinkles Read Here'

Mooseturizer: Tired of those annoying Dry and Chafed antlers?