Skincare Seeker Pillows

Tips on how to reduce those unsightly crow's feet.

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

"Round and round the cauldron we go, in the exfoliating toner I throw."

"Too much concealer?"

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

PROBLEM AREAS

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

'Nobody minds if I take the ocean view suite with complimentary champagne and Sven, the in-room Swedish masseur, do they?'

'You need to do something about your dry skin.'

'Have you had a brazilian?'

New Twenty Blades

Desert Dermatologist

"Botox."

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

Sunburn lotion, Windburn lotion.

'You do Botox?'

'Who would have thought there was a market for it? We're going to be rich George!...'

She. 'Isn't it a pretty view?' Susceptible Youth. 'Awfully pretty, by Jove!'

"Do you have anything that can help remove dark circles from under my eyes?"

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."

"Another barnacle?!" "I was a teenage creature."

"Yikes! So many foundations, so little time."

'Here you are Dear, here's a fiver. Go in there and have them make you look like a million dollars.'

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

'-and we offer trauma counselling at no extra cost!'

"Apricot pit?! Are you kidding, Mister? This stuff knocks raw avocado and almond nut outta the water!!!"

"How come your skin is sooooo smooth?"

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

Analysis of Beauty - Plate I.

"A Leading cosmetics company believes our drilling mud would ake an excellent skincare product."

"Believe me, you never looked better since you fell into that vast of skin cream."

"Couldn't you have waited till she was smiling before you injected the botox?"