Skilled Fighter Gifts

Ninja.

"So, what are you reading?"

"We do not usually acknowledge unsolicited manuscripts, but we want you to know that we tore yours into tiny pieces. Yours sincerely, The Op-Ed Page."

"I didn't mean your day wasn't hard, too."

Female chemotherapy warrior.

"Keep it up. His knuckles are getting really sore"

'You want this, don't you? The hate is swelling in you now. Take the red whiteboard marker. Give in to your anger.'

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

"And what if the assailant comes at you from inside your own head."

"Hold on - the ref is checking the rule book."

'Very impressive, but is there anything you can't do?'

'Try hitting him harder.' 'Is that all you have to say?' 'Try hitting him harder, PLEASE.'

"Hey Ref - any chance you can get those buzzards to quit circling over my fighter?"

"The hardest thing about winning bouts? The other guy's fists"

'I'm really focused on trying to get my black belt.'

Umbrella fight.

A boxer uses a punching bag while he has broken legs.

'A quick trim, I just heard the fight's going to be televised.'

"£100 spot fine...er, because we don't like your face."

'No hitting below the belt.'

Boxing Bull Fight

'You're either very brave or very stupid.' 'Pah! Shows what you know. I'm very brave AND very stupid!'

'I have this overwhelming urge to clobber somebody.'

Black BeltBlue BeltBlack and Blue Belt.

'I'm calling off the fight, Ref- he has me way too intimidated!'

'I'll be glad when this guy's large muscles cause him to tire badly during these late rounds.'

Protest sign editors: 'End Layoff Now!'

Bull Visiting Matador

Sword Fight

'Please, Ref. If you stop the fight now it means the end of my career.' 'Oh, very well.' 'Round one!'

'We had a meaningful confrontation, and I lost.'

'I dink he boke by doze!' 'ENUNCIATE! 'I THINK he BROKE MY NOSE.'

Modern Self Defense

"Use diplomacy. If that fails, you could try force."

'Break.'