Skeptic's Guide To Commercials Gifts

'Will this make me feel as happy as the people in the commercial?'

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

'Side effects may include....'

". . . yes, sir, folks . . . and furthermore, folks . . . for real quality, folks . . . yes, sir, folks . . ."

'I'm a voice over artist.'

are you so alienated from any real form of community that you can no longer distinguish between belonging and conforming?

'It's sadly ironic in a way - He can't hear the hearing aid commercials.'

'Of course he's an actor. When was the last time you saw a kid enjoy something that was good for him?'

Cash Rebate

"Play it like, sure, the world sees you as just a hamburger, but you know there's so much more to you than that."

"But your room does have a sea view, it's 43 miles over there behind the power station."

Stephen Harper on the attack ads.

"This is like the time you had me sell water as a 'diet drink'."

Before we begin tonight's dream, a word from our sponsor...

'Hey! -- that Maytag repairman is an impostor!'

"We used to think sugar and spice were all things nice - until that was proved to be a lie put out by global food manufacturers."

"...No, he can't really fly...no, the bad guys really don't have a ray gun...no, this cereal really isn't the best food in the whole world...no, it won't make you as strong as a giant..."

'I love it, the chief loves it. The client loves it but the Gods don't love it.'

"Has this ever happened to you? Well, with our Medical Emergency Distress System..."

"Get another cab, Dad. This one is creepin' me out."

"The improvement is the higher price."

"They do say results will vary."

'...But the good news is TV ads have been promoting the idea that money isn't everything.'

'Okay, I'll do one more dog food commercial, but I don't want to get typecast.'

"It's flu season, so you'll probably get sick. To repeat: You... will... get... sick. And when you do, there's Helpaflu."

"Pudits tell me what to think. TV tells me what to watch. Ads tell me what to buy. You really care about my opinion?"

"The only side effect from this new drug will be a mind-numbing barrage of commercials on daytime TV."

"It's not as good a deal as it sounds - it's based on THEIR lifetime."

"Play the old Winston jingle."

"You know that drug commercial where everyone is laughing and running around with friends and dogs enjoying the beautiful day? What are they on?"

"Thanks to Trump, no one cares if we lie now in our advertisements or press releases."

"It's always easy to tell when then TV commercials for Christmas toys have started."

Woman on desert island reads message she finds in a bottle: 'It's an ad for a diet club.'

'Are your game broadcasts interrupted by screaming TV pitch men...'