Skeptic Champ Gifts

"I don't believe in moon landings! I don't even believe in the moon!"

Fear/Knowledge

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

Another Bigfoot sighting...

"I don't think those are authentic, either, bud."

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

"My latest sighting turned out to be just another weather balloon."

Covid deniers and anti-vaxxers

"Do you think the flat earth society has members round the globe?"

A political promise is intended to be a golden egg...Which is kept in a pork barrel and after an election...Hatches into a dead duck before...it turns invisible so it can quietly vanish.

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

Channelling on the Cheap

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

'Do you believe in reincarnation?' - 'I don't now, but I did when I was Napoleon.'

Rumors, lies and innuendo.

'See, dear, you can't believe everything you read. It says so right here on the internet!'

'If I've learned anything, it's believe half of what's in the newspapers, and even less of what's in your e-mail.'

The new Physics

'Oh my!...Corn circles, Roswell, aliens, pyramids - there's a connection!...'

Admit it Doc. You're jealous because my home remedy worked better than your fancy prescription!

"And he had it peer-reviewed by his fellow pseudoscientists."

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

"In two million years from now people like me will still be very rich tanks to idiots like you!"

"About the vaccine, I read online that it was so Bill Gates could inject us with CHIPS!"

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

'I might give you the benefit of the doubt. But I doubt it.'

'Remember, son, don't believe any thing you hear and only half of what you see.'

"I'm back from Russia. Putin offered me a Dacha to say he's an honest man."

"Call me crazy, but this guy is really starting to worry me..."

"Let's try to think of something that untold millions of people will buy."

"Why do I hate religion? Imagine if half the money ever donated to religion had instead been used for scientific research. That's the world religion stole from me! Instead of worrying about the coronavirus, I could be slaying orcs on a starship's holodeck!"

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'