Skeletal Storytellers Gifts

The Silent Highwayman on the Filthy Thames

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

The Reaper's Arms

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'

'Man. Piltdown Man.'

'What is that? Is that sarcasm?'

'Well, isn't this nice? Three generations all sitting down together.'

Found pearls! No way I'm leaving. . . Amelia.

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

Grim Reaper Snack Bar

'Maybe I should change this thing more often...'

"Every time you lick your teeth, you taste your skeleton."

Pizza Delivery Delays

'Let me handle this. I'm an orthopedic specialist.'

"Here we still are, eh? So much for the gloom-and-doom types who warned us against eating all the vegetation."

Spring Cleaning

"Oh no, it's the Grim Streaker."

'Heretofore unnoticed resemblance between G. Washington and A. Lincoln'

Ted never got used to hitchhikers on November 2nd, the Day of the Dead.

'A pint of beer and a mop please, barman !'

"Measuring dulls my creativity."

"I'm sorry—the agency told me they'd cleared away last summer's people."

'Give me a beer, luv. . . Yeah, a mop.'

Skeleton Portrait Painting

"Were the x-rays really necessary?"

"Some Rain Forest this is..."

X-ray of body shows skull.

"The building code says we can use structural steel and poured concrete, and we can go 40 stories high - it doesn't say we have to!"

'It's dead in here tonight.'

"Our meaty ancestors didn't stand a chance once bears tasted their sweet, sweet haunch."

"You really like this place, don't you, Harry?"

"I'm back from the dead - I sure hope my old-timey views on race and gender are unchanged and still acceptable!"

Jake played with a dead man's hand

"So help me, Harrison. . . If you say 'The Hip Bone's Connected To The Thigh Bone' once more, I'll. . ."

'After you' said Miss Manners. 'Oh you first' insisted Mrs Etiquette.