Skeletal Storytellers Gifts

The Silent Highwayman on the Filthy Thames

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

The Reaper's Arms

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'

'Man. Piltdown Man.'

'What is that? Is that sarcasm?'

'Well, isn't this nice? Three generations all sitting down together.'

Found pearls! No way I'm leaving. . . Amelia.

Grim Reaper Snack Bar

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

'Let me handle this. I'm an orthopedic specialist.'

'Maybe I should change this thing more often...'

Pizza Delivery Delays

"Every time you lick your teeth, you taste your skeleton."

"Here we still are, eh? So much for the gloom-and-doom types who warned us against eating all the vegetation."

'Heretofore unnoticed resemblance between G. Washington and A. Lincoln'

"Oh no, it's the Grim Streaker."

Spring Cleaning

Ted never got used to hitchhikers on November 2nd, the Day of the Dead.

'A pint of beer and a mop please, barman !'

"Measuring dulls my creativity."

"I'm sorry—the agency told me they'd cleared away last summer's people."

X-ray of body shows skull.

"Some Rain Forest this is..."

"So help me, Harrison. . . If you say 'The Hip Bone's Connected To The Thigh Bone' once more, I'll. . ."

'Give me a beer, luv. . . Yeah, a mop.'

"Were the x-rays really necessary?"

Jake played with a dead man's hand

"The building code says we can use structural steel and poured concrete, and we can go 40 stories high - it doesn't say we have to!"

'It's dead in here tonight.'

"Our meaty ancestors didn't stand a chance once bears tasted their sweet, sweet haunch."

"You really like this place, don't you, Harry?"

"I'm back from the dead - I sure hope my old-timey views on race and gender are unchanged and still acceptable!"

Skeleton Portrait Painting

'After you' said Miss Manners. 'Oh you first' insisted Mrs Etiquette.