Skeletal Storyteller Gifts

Found pearls! No way I'm leaving. . . Amelia.

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

The Reaper's Arms

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'

'Man. Piltdown Man.'

'What is that? Is that sarcasm?'

'Well, isn't this nice? Three generations all sitting down together.'

'Don't worry. We still have a few more treatment options available.'

Grim Reaper Snack Bar

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

'Let me handle this. I'm an orthopedic specialist.'

'Maybe I should change this thing more often...'

Pizza Delivery Delays

"Every time you lick your teeth, you taste your skeleton."

"Here we still are, eh? So much for the gloom-and-doom types who warned us against eating all the vegetation."

'Heretofore unnoticed resemblance between G. Washington and A. Lincoln'

"Oh no, it's the Grim Streaker."

Ted never got used to hitchhikers on November 2nd, the Day of the Dead.

Spring Cleaning

'A pint of beer and a mop please, barman !'

"I'm sorry—the agency told me they'd cleared away last summer's people."

"Measuring dulls my creativity."

"Our meaty ancestors didn't stand a chance once bears tasted their sweet, sweet haunch."

Skeleton Portrait Painting

"Were the x-rays really necessary?"

"The building code says we can use structural steel and poured concrete, and we can go 40 stories high - it doesn't say we have to!"

"Some Rain Forest this is..."

'It's dead in here tonight.'

"You really like this place, don't you, Harry?"

"I'm back from the dead - I sure hope my old-timey views on race and gender are unchanged and still acceptable!"

X-ray of body shows skull.

'Give me a beer, luv. . . Yeah, a mop.'

Jake played with a dead man's hand

'After you' said Miss Manners. 'Oh you first' insisted Mrs Etiquette.

"Damn - we'll have to hire a new one!"