Skateboard Wizard Gifts

"You do know the skateboard was invented by the devil."

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

"Sorry, my report is blank. I just stayed home, watched tv and played video games during vacation."

It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is, he died laughing before he could tell anybody.

Skateboard

Can I go to the Computer Tennis Camp?

A man looking askance at a child on a tank-like skateboard

Skate Bored

'You want this, don't you? The hate is swelling in you now. Take the red whiteboard marker. Give in to your anger.'

"What I should have done during vacation besides watching video games. . ."

'Pause your games, kids! There's a high fly ball deep to center field!'

SEMINAR CANCELLED: Feel free to doodle.

'I'd kill for concrete.'

'Now that's what I CALL a spectacle case.'

"My dad said they used to be bands."

"Congratulations, dad! You won for 'Most Imaginative Maneuver' on a skateboard!"

Skateboard Olympics.

Corporate Image

Beat me, kick me, make me do story problems.

"You're pathetic."

'Well, I guess a master's degree is a master's degree, even if it is in skateboarding.'

"The increase in our budget has allowed you the luxury of a company vehicle. Enjoy."

'I wish I could be around when you're my age. I'd like to see that fashion statement with an adult diaper showing.'

Let's do it.'

Snakeboarding.

"Your dad’s right — this is way better than watching TV."

'No way can I guard this guy! He's playing like he's possessed!'

Skateboard Park. Lessons Available. The instructor taught me all I need to know in ten minutes. He said "forget it."

'This isn't a BREAKTHROUGH, Colbert! This is a CIRCULAR REASONING! All you've done here is re-state our original objective.'

"He's got steady hands and was the top recruit from Funzone."

"I've estimated that I've given you over $100,000 in tech-support over the years. Since you're my dad, I'll give you a discount. I'll take a skateboard."

"You left your goddam car in the driveway again!"

Skateboarder discovers his local 'Skate Park' is occupied by parked flatfish.

'This week he took me skateboarding. I think my inner child's trying to kill me.'