Situation Satirists Pillows

I don't care if you have a ticket - hop it.

Occu-Pie Mars

They're Not Just That Into It

Vote Centrist to Keep Things Exactly as Awful as They Are

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

"Excuse me, Doc, my attention wandered. What type of deficit disorder did you say I had?"

"Morning, sir. We've received reports that you've been wielding an inappropriate attitude without a permit."

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

Antiwar Democrats Get Tough

Snowman Driver

"Oh, say you can't see, any conflicts of interest in me! What's good for my brand, is now the law of the land! And the crooked media's nasty glare, my killer tweets bursting in air... Gave proof to the news cycle, that I'm so awesome it's almost unfair!..

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

"I don't care if it does have wifi. . . it's a vegetable peeler!"

Blues for now.

War of Words

"Gramps, you were alive before everyone knew what you were doing on social media... What was that called?" "Bliss!"

'Blair picks safe poet caureate' "He was just giong through the motions"

'Here's a composite of our target consumer.'

Shavuot - Like!

'So, I take it that diversity isn't a priority?'

'I don't care if you are just 2 years old, people don't have time to read your life story.'

"This is my 'country house.' I also have a duplex in the city."

Planet of the Ants

Leftie Trump

"Is this your entire business plan?"

'Barnhill from Marketing will present our economic projections.'

"O.K., but let's say you have up to six hundred intruders per minute."

Ambulance arrives at full hospital

Other Than That Everything's Perfect

Trump the Shepherdess

'What's the antidote for espresso?'

"Oh George, I wish you'd get things in perspective. . .!"

"Jeremy sits in his hi-tech car all day and telecommutes from our driveway."

"I gave him a public education Artie ol' boy. . . you should know by now that government schools are one of my best minion corporations!"

"It looks suspicious to me. Next thing we know, he'll claim the U.S. is part of Russia."