Sitting Comfortably Gifts

'No sir. It wasn't a recliner until you sat in it!'

Big screen TV.

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

"I'm afraid the price would make him toss and turn all night for months!"

"I won't be in today, I'm feeling a little under the coffee table."

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

'All this viewing is an endurance event in itself...'

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

Get well soon!

Thought bubble mirrors the cloud in the sky.

'I need it for my electric blanket.'

After 9pm Harry Lomax slips quietly into cruise control.

"Darling! We've become armchair socialites."

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

Sleeping masks

At this time I'd like to thank the man or woman who invented the parasol. Without it, an indoor rain shower might dilute this Mai Tai, hindering my ability to get my full Don Ho groove on.

"All the atmosphere of 'Murray Mound' but in the comfort of your own home!"

'Why would you need GPS? Have you suddenly forgotten how to get from the couch to the refrigerator?'

'And now for the (Yawn!) morning report....'

'My name is John and I haven't had a think for 36 days.'

'Gordon, ever since you were given a chair with wheels you've been seen less and less in the office.'

"So ... taking that nap during my performance review was a very bad idea."

"Tonight the covers stay on my side."

Sod orf, midges...

Farmer with gun shots instead of flying ducks

"Because I'm the king and I like it better than the old one, that's why."

Cat Dreams

Whenever I let my conscience be my guide, I get picked up for vagrancy. (Published originally on 8/5/2006.)

"Wake up, blanket hog! You're having that burrito dream again!"

"Obsessive complacent disorder"

"I can't open the spreadsheet. I'm having technical difficulties."

When Chassidim sit outside for too long.

Maybe if we bought a super deluxe mattress, I'd sleep better. Do you really think spending $5,000 on a mattress makes a difference? Granted. Not in every case.

Swing Recliner.

"I think the best part was when we decided not to record it."