Sitcom Devotee Gifts

'For the next sixty seconds, this station will make an annoying 'BEEEEP' sound....'

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

Applause

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

Comic,,,Drama,,,Laugh Track,

"Sorry, my report is blank. I just stayed home, watched tv and played video games during vacation."

'Now that's Real TV!'

Situation Tragedy.

We interrupt this program to bring you, Tommy, a message from you teacher. Have you finished your report on frogs?

'It was a very strange divorce — the judge got custody of my wife.'

Haywatch

Polterguest: "When is your brother going to leave? He's driving me crazy!"

'No, I've never been in a TV reality show. My reality is pretty well scripted by my wife, kids and boss.'

"If I had been on 'The Brady Bunch', which I wasn't, I'd have been Greg, whom I ain't"

'I've seen nothing I've liked since Victor Meldrew!'

"Ahhh! Ha-ha! Exactly what I said when I was pulled over. Dipstick!"

Watching telly

'Confused about your future, depressed, lacking confidence, not sure who you can trust...I'd suggest you avoid any election news and watch modern family instead.'

'I wasn't going to destroy their country until they introduced me to the cast of 'Jersey Shore'.'

Larry David

Nativity - The sitcom

"So I play this guy named Stan Snorkel who finds a big, gray poodle..."

'Mom, was Dad your number one draft choice?'

'Shakespeare's Tragedies and Sitcoms.' 'The Bard sells out.'

"At this point, I think a rich lightweight would be fine."

"As I recall, Leonard, when we first watched 'The Honeymooners' you said that it marked the decline and fall of Western culture."