Sit-down Comedy King Pillows

'His workout regimen consists of 50 sit-downs every day.'

'Let's go to a bar and do something funny.'

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

'The dog ate my homework -- I thought maybe you could X-ray him.'

'You're not really that much help, Ben.'

Man fishing in goldfish bowl - "Its always been the same with you Norman.. No ambition."

"Let's play make-believe. I'll diagnose you with a life-threatening illness, then cure you with a wonder-drug that turns out to be a placebo."

“Pottery Classes – Give it a Whirl!”

"Ladies and gentlemen, I simply can't believe that I've won this award. I keep wanting to pinch myself."

'I'm looking for an assistant who can keep me in mind of how well I'm doing.'

'Never forget, Sweetheart, it's my low comedy that keeps you in high fashion!'

'Who stuck corks on all the cursors?'

"You have a really lousy sense of humor."

Chris O'Dowd

'That's a personal foul, roughing the passer!'

'This new jester doth appeal to me.'

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

'How animals mark their territory'

Up your end.

'You're not supposed to use fabric softener on ARMOR!'

"I'm feeling a lot of love in the room - with the exception of that guy over there."

'What shall we watch - best security videos of 2013 or operating room bloopers, blunders and bleeps?'

"I'd like an application form for the position of minister, please!"

"The last doggy bag."

"All of my visitors have to wear that get up. Apparently my humour is very infectious."

'Desks equipped with airbags - for now that's our company's health plan.'

"Deal with it Your Majesty- Comedy is king!"

Dante Alighieri

Life Imitates Arf....

1874: Custer's Last Stand-Up