Single Mum Pillows

No, I don't have a Dad: Mum says that the Vet came to see her one day and that I was born a few months later...'

'Don't look now - it's a ghost from our Christmas party past.'

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

Take the time to do something nice for yourself. Your kids will thank you. That is, if you ever decide to have them.

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

Supermom.

'She finds it really easy to juggle her kids with her career now she's joined the circus.'

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

Woman with kids at husbands office.

Balancing work and family

'I'm glad you're able to be with us more, but I'd appreciate it if you'd say you're 'spending time' with us, not 'doing time' with us.'

"First break since 2008."

'I don't have time for throwing up.'

'Save us!'

'Your house is spotless, your children are well behaved and dinner was delicious. How do you do it?'

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

'She's determined to combine a family and a career!'

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

Hassled Mother.

"I noticed that since I've been working at home you've been paying me hazard pay. How did you know?"

"Let me put on my 'working' head."

'How soon can I return to work? About fifteen minutes ago.'

"You take care of the kids, you do the housework and you have a full-time job for which you warn less than a man who does the same? Respect... I can only fly and knock down scoundrels..."

'sugar and spice my eye.'

“I’m stayin’ home — I want the world to know — I pro-bab-ly won’t go!”

"I never had to choose between a baby and a career—I'm a surrogate mother."

Out of patience

"How she's able to manage a career and still juggle her family, I'll never know."