Singing Sleuth Pillows

Idenity Parade.

$1: Family Secrets

"Number 2. Step forward please."

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

By the year 2500, 1 in 10 academics will devote their entire career to divining the meaning of the word 'sussudio'.

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

Man trying to catch a saxophonist with butterfly wings.

'Loose lips sink principalships.'

"Hey Ed, take a look at this...more sleigh bells...what is this thing?"

'When it comes to romance, Sherlock doesn't have a clue!'

'I got my grant to study why the word 'COOL' persists generation after generation'

"Look, if it wasn’t me and it wasn’t you, who was doing all the snoring?!"

Two men converse secretively

"Psychiatric emergency service? Please come fast, I have one here who believes in me!"

Catholic Priest Gay Mardi Gras

"They stay together for the money."

music store

"My libido?...What the hell does this even mean?"

"We don't sell CDs anymore. We sell colorful jackets for the music you download illegally."

"If a tree fell into the marsh and there was nobody around to hear it and it landed on a mute swan, would it make a sound?"

Second dates are trickier. They ask the same questions as on the first date, looking for inconsistencies.

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

"All the letters in the alphabet are one-syllable words. Tell that to "W"."

'Cops and Rubbers.'

Arthur Conan Doyle

'Of course, how else do you think we get off the ground? '

'I know if you've been bad or good thanks to surveillance cameras in last year's toys.'

'No government funding? No corporate support? Just what kind of ponzi scheme are you running?'

Unusual Sports: Shooting Skiers

SANTA'S WORKSHOP, 'Kris, Kringle, Santa Claus, Father Christmas, Saint Nicholas -- if you're on the level, why all the aliases?'

'I am the 'fly on the wall' you speak of. What would you like to know?'