Singing Heffer Fans Gifts

Cow Show Tunes

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

Jumping cheerleaders

"No, Einstein's theory of relativity isn't, 'don't marry your cousin.'"

'Roy Rogers is ambused'

"I'm thinking of changing my parting."

Classic Halftime Shows (Super Bowl III)

Echo Mountain...NO Yodeling! - Falling rock zone.

GDP and G&T.

"Shhh - he's trying open his third nostril."

Happy hour.

Polly Clinic.

Scat Singing/Sdog singing.

Relativity explained; the woman on the train will always appear more attractive than the woman on the platform.

Old McDonald bed & breakfast...NO EIEIOing after 10PM.

"...to save us all from Satan's power..."

'Now THAT'S just showing off!'

I rented a car from Hertz the other day, and there was a camera in it. Really? Someone forgot their camera? No, I mean in the dashboard. There was a little camera pointed at me. I have no idea who or what was watching me. Maybe it was Hertz. Maybe it was the NSA. Maybe it was for American Idol auditions. To cover all my bases, I sang the Star-Spangled Banner the whole drive. I'm never renting from Hertz again.

'I read my newspaper online.'

'Cattle Driver.'

'Gee, Billy, just because your dad won't fly into a rage at games does not man he doesn't love you...'

Baggage Claim. Miller. Lee. Anyone who knows how to hot wire a car.

M.D. Nurse. I'm sorry, Dr. Oglethorpe examines funny bones only during happy hour.

Trilby - 'The Chairman'.

It's the rules.

'Sorry... didn't get a chance to change after taking sports.'

Bo-Peep loses it

Jolly for Jones.

At the Pessimist Society's annual fete.

'I told you not to yodel when you got up there for karaoke.'

Let's carpool karaoke!

Old aged injured women making a human pyramid in a cheerleading team.

"Does anybody mind if I smoke?"

I'm thrilled you'll be joining me at my first baseball outing this year. You've been invited solely because I need fellow taunters. Rule #1: Yell as loudly as possible at the players. Make them utterly #$% miserable. Gonna be fun. Gonna get beatings.