Singing Coach Pillows

Singer's shadow covering it's ears.

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

Songbird.

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

And this is a little ditty I wrote called 'the third quarters profit and loss account' ...Colin often wished that he'd followed his first love and taken up a career as a musician

"I can't talk louder, I'm a little horse."

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

Tenors

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

"I seem to have forgotten what I was going to say...please...hold the applause!"

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

An opera singer

A singer being criticised

"Great set of pipes!"

"Ambitions. . . To . . . Er. . . Um . . . Become. . . Er. . . Um. . . A. . . Er. . . Um . . . Motivational. . . Er. . . Um. . . Speaker."

Eddy's mom suggested that he do his speech on cue cards.

Pirate King

"Sopranos", "Tenors", "Basses"

"Sure, I can help you improve your mating call: that's my specialty..."

"It took years of vocal training, but I now have a vocal range from squeaky right down to tenor..."

The Corus.

'He's here to hit the high notes.'

'Uh-oh, here comes the mike again. Cut the barbershop quartet and go back to mournful whistling.'

What are you talking about?

Tutti: When all voices sing at the same time.

Well, it's not my fault if nobody bothered to tune the microphone.'

"I was kind of hoping for 'new voices' who'd also sung before."

Montserrat Caballé