Sing-along Lover T-Shirts

'Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the ceiling, ninety-nine bottle of beer...'

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

Joe's 'Talent-Optional' Karaoke Bar

"This next one's called 'Song for Me'."

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

Bashful in Nashville

"Press catch up, and find out what we just slept through."

"A trillion bottles of beer on the wall, a trillion bottles of beer..."

Jerry Lordan

'My love is like a red red rose...'

Musical genres

'Cole Porter has the lyrics checked'

'Horace spends his spare time being a rock critic.'

"Wait, so his first whole sentence was 'I don't want to work, I just want to bang on the drum all day'?!"

"I'll be broadminded up in heaven, but here on earth you're still a whore..."

"Hey, Dad, I've been working on a song for our family band!"

Band alternating between whiney and angry songs.

Christine McVie

"Well, we've for the melody down now, but I'm still not sure about the part where it goes, '...and they call the wind Dorcas Schnickelbaum.'"

"Well of course you're depressed... You're a country and western singer."

Keyboard player

"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"

Vasiliy Lebedev-Kumach

'This one writes some fine lyrics, and the other one has composed some beautiful music, but they just done't seem to hit it off as collaborators.'

'Every time I manage to learn the second verse of a song, I forget the first one.'