Sinful Saboteur Pillows

Even Bob's deathbed confession was lame.

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'It was great. I hated it.'

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

Seven deadly sins shopping plaza

"He tried living in the fast lane, but he didn't like it, so now he just sleeps all day."

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'

'I've decided to get serious about losing weight. I moved the refrigerator out of my bedroom.'

"The 'Ex' huh?"

Seven deadly sins store

'Oh well, if greed wasn't so good, we've still got lust, gluttony, sloth, wrath, envy and pride.'

'That's one hell of a lawyer.'

"Joseph's jealous brother adds bleach to the coat of many colors wash."

"Putting a steak, chicken wings and potato chips on a salad kind of negates the eating healthy concept."

It appeals to pride,greed,lust, sloth and envy, but we're overlooking gluttony and avarice.'

"We always take one piece out."

"How's the diet going?"

'Stocks rose on news of a proposal to have greed' dropped from the seven cardinal sins.'

Envy, gluttony, green and lust.

"That brings us to your search history."

'You indulge in all the deadly sins. You have to expect a few health problems.'

'I've decided to help you diet. I had invisible fencing installed around the refrigerator.'

Infernal Revenue Service

'I'd like you to go work for our competition. It's the only way I know to bring them to their knees.'

Fridge with sign - 'Contents may not be suitable for those with weight problems'.

Dangerous dinghy...

'You mailed my wife a pre-approved credit card, so now I have to kill you.'

"What about that day in 1967 when you called your dedicated teacher 'Old Lady Johnson'?"

Hoyt Group: Gluttony, lust, sloth, envy, pride, anger & greed-management.

"And here we go folks! He's got to remove that first slice of pie all in one piece."

Slimming Club: Sweets Detector.

I figured if I've gotta be one of the deadly sins, it might as well be greed.

'Don't you have anything more recent? I've already what you just confessed on your blog.'