Saboteur-at-heart Pillows

"Joseph's jealous brother adds bleach to the coat of many colors wash."

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

"Where’s your sense of Gothic romance?"

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

'I hate frisking magicians!'

Clown Wedding with Rake

"Don’t you think it’s about time you stopped insisting on your uncle Bill being here for Christmas?"

'I can 'YO', but the second 'YO' isn't working!'

"Just once, when you bring me a bouquet of flowers can you not pull it from your sleeve?!"

"I'm a brilliant stalker and love photography, so I thought: why not?"

Grim's Fairytales

No Right Turn (monster)

Woman leaves a stick of dynamite on her weighing scales and runs away

'He's a cheat I tell you - it's just a trick!'

Optician and the PI.

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'

'I've decided to get serious about losing weight. I moved the refrigerator out of my bedroom.'

"The butler did it!"

'Joke emporium' 'Next prankster'

"What the heck? The darn rabbit just disappeared!"

"Just to be clear, you want suicide doors installed on your hearse?"

'We had to remove the door knob---it was causing too much hilarity'

Vampire shunning crucifix-in-a-can.

Skeleton Portrait Painting

'LIAR!'

'That's what I call magical magic!'

'Hi, we'd like to talk to you about how to prepare for life after death.'

Party games.

Meet the Artist

Rabbits $5.

'No, Jeffrey! It's a trick! - That's EDUCATIONAL TV!'

Sherlock Holmes.

Clown and Acrobatic Frog