Simplification Seeker T-Shirts

"We find putting the customer first works for us!"

I'm a businessman, not a zealot. I give the masses what they want. I give girls what they want. The masses want drama and intensity. Ditto. Direction, simplicity, answers, purpose. Yep, yep, yep. Rock hard abs!

"Simplify your life! Stop stuffing French fries, onion rings, and who knows what else into your cheeseburgers!"

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

Spa

Working Holiday

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

"Any questions?"

Cat in a flap

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

"I love this time of day."

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

“Who’s a good boy that doesn’t feel obliged to prove it by holding too many interesting literary and social opinions?”

"It feels good to unwind..."

'I love it here. It really floats my boat.'

Dog Park / Cat Park

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

The World's Easiest Airport

"We needn't have a fancy home, just a place to rest when we no longer roam."

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

Bryan Ferry

"Uptight End"

Woman at spa having bath in a Martini cocktail glass.

Job satisfaction comes from doing what you enjoy, without the boss finding out.

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

Loofah Lady

"I'm prescribing a mild sedative. Go wine shopping and get yourself a nice Chablis."

"My resume is concise, succinct and eloquently worded. I only hope they know what I'm talking about."

Not much money, glory, or praise

'I enjoy the old-fashioned pleasures - a walk on the beach, plain food and piles of cash.'

"Shower beers? Aisle eight."