Simple Recipes Gifts

"Cooking" when the kids are away

LAY ZEE FUK

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

Cookbooks

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"Did you remove the bay leaf?"

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

'Men's cooking'

Vegetable Cook

How to correctly estimate cooking time

"Looks like it's time to make the banana bread."

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

Witches of Instagram

"Then add one extra large egg..."

'Diet considerations.'

"I'm unable to process this image."

How to make an unforgettable dinner for four

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

"If you're such an expert, you cook the lobster next time."

My old recipes have so many food stains they're practically scratch and sniff.

A man with a sign that reads "Secret of my chili $1".

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

"I just explained 'kugel' to him."

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."