Silver Spoon Skeptic Gifts

"'Hold,' young lady, is for other people."

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'It's a shame you didn't get to use all those little blue pills before Ted died.'

Man sees hug capsules: 'Not to be taken Orally.'

'Too much Omega 3.'

Coincidence or What?

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? "Death of a Salesman." Adapted to a fly, of course.

'First of all, I'm taking you off the iron supplements.'

"What would I have to do to be sent to my room without just the Brussels sprouts?"

"When I die, I want to come back at anything except a book of short stories."

"Your call and personal data may be monitored for brainwashing purposes."

"Thanks for your input Branston, but I've decided to go with my intution"

"We also stock non-alcoholic wine" "Why?"

"It's extremely rare for anyone to suffer side effects from health supplements Mr Baxter. Just how much cod liver oil have you been taking?"

Elevators offer choice of conversation or conversation-free.

'You're taking too much of that clamshell calcium, Margaret.'

Smart drugs. 'Gee, duh, I don't know. Does it look like we have any in stock?'

I Hate Alphabet Soup.

'You've got me. Is it animal, vegetable or minestrone?'

'French onion soup. Hold the soup.'

Super and Super Duper Vitamins.

Small Talk Lounge

Harold Was Done Asking Customers About Their Day

'Our actual performance over the last quarter depends much on one's perspective. Take, for example, this perspective.'

Man reading a giant book.

"I said, with these new tax breaks, we'll be able to buy more leaves for the table."

"So, you're the mediation expert, huh? So, what does that make you, a big deal or something?"

"Well, you call them fairy tales, I call them fake news."

'Who wants another slice of Brussel Sprout...?'

'That 'Jonah' story sounded FISHY to me!'

'Before you use that information, I ought to tell you that the computer predicted we'd have record profits last year.'

'How is it health food prices always make me feel sick as a parrot?'

Political Journalism

We value your privacy. . . . . yeah, right.

'They must work. I've never had a repeat customer.'