Silver Service Aficionado T-Shirts

"That's right, sir, you did book a table for four but you didn't say anything about chairs."

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

'The customer is always right...'

"To keep prices down, we require you to cook your own food, wait in yourselves and wash your dishes."

Sign on Secret Service door: Could be out to lunch.

You're certain you've had plenty of experience serving in a fine dining restaurant?

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

Silver Sufferer - husband looking at steam trains on the internet, wife bored in background

Antique silver

'Hi, my name's Mandy and I'll be your culturally inappropriate annoyance this evening.'

'I apologize for repeatedly asking if everything is okay, but displaying customer concern is part of our mission statement.'

"Potatoes too salty? Look, buster ??" I told you to enjoy your meal!"

"Thanks for waiting."

"Here's a juicy bit of gossip for you!"

"How is it you can commit to world class service but not to me?"

Antiques roadshow: 'Yes it's definitely Silver'

Boy cleaning servant's shoes

Amy Lou Adams

'You mean you want good communication and competent service?'

'We'll rotate them for free but you have to pay if you want 'em balanced.'

"To increase attendance, I've decided to make every Sunday Easter Sunday."

Coffee shop request for tea in china cup.

"How can I tell him we're only EPNS?"

'Put it back. This isn't a 'Take a Penny, Leave a Penny' dish.'

Maid.

'I had a really bad day at work! . . . I was expecting it to be utterly horrific. . . but in the end it was just really bad. . . My cracked glass is half full!'

A midwife and a waiter pass through a set of double doors.

'I appreciate your enthusiasm in serving me but I never tip more than 15 percent.'

A waiter carrying a tray of drinks

Bar Bar

Trust the critics. They know best what makes a good movie.

'I told you the waiter would remember you gave him a 2 cent tip the last time.'

Butler and Page Boy

"Find my items... scan my items... pay for my items... bag my items..."

"I'm glad you were satisfied with the service but please don't tell people or everyone will expect it."