Silly Swears Supporter Gifts

'Raise your right hand and repeat after me: I do solemnly swear to get a new deodorant...'

'Don't bite. They're trolling again.'

"I just wish the Earth was as beautiful to live on as it is to look at... It's right behind me, isn't it?"

'Tell your boss we represent an independent watchdog committee.'

"Of course, the actual honey is all made overseas."

Snails on road - road works 'slow' sign.

Snail Pattern Balding.

'So, that's how squirrels find their buried food?'

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

"Paper or plastic?"

"Well, we can kiss being free-range goodbye."

'It's another squirrel - from the park. I warned you not to start feeding them.'

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff,'

'Snob, he won't eat domestic slugs, just imports.'

'Actually, we don't like the term 'cannibal', we prefer to be called 'homovores'.'

"Religion, politics, sex...in this part of the world every cartoonist is free to draw whatever he wants!"

"So, colony collapse disorder - how funny is it?"

"Make it look like an accident"

Man asking what is a stall at the opera

"It's all hypothetical, of course, but how much wood do you think you could chuck?"

'You're free to go. Another suspect matching the description of having big ears and a trunk has just been arrested for the circus stampede.'

'The gypper was up to his genua in testoons.'

"I'm sorry, sir, but a blade's a blade."

Evolution in the Era of the Selfie

"Oh no, it's the Grim Streaker."

'To hell with the rules.'

'Sigh - Yes, I will probably be dying alone.'

EU money addiction

"True, I'm from pest control...but we don't eliminate internet trolls."

"See, it's right here in the pre-nup, Louise; if you walk out, I get two week severance sex."