Silly Story Aficionados Gifts

'I forgot to cancel the milk!'

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

"C'mon people! All for me and me for me!"

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

'Does it bother anyone else that our entire business is based on one questionable product?'

"...our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done!"

'Who's the new guy?'

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

Caveman Shadow Puppetry Of Pre-Historic Animals

Don Quichotte

Reading in the family.

Then out in the yard, there arose such a grito that I jumped to my feet like a frightened cabrito.

'The popularity polls love what you've done with the budget deficit....moving the decimal one point to the left.'

"Bentley, I don't care if you are my heir apparent. Stop peeking in here fifty times a day!"

"Can't fool me, Jake, there's a coach comin' in!"

'Welcome to the Business Ethics course. Today we're going to start with the basics.'

'Of course, Mr. Handley here is the one who does all the hiring and firing.'

Disgruntled former employees

Trump's Wall

"During Junior Executive training, Emily learned that power-mad toddies, bereft of honest opinions, climb the greasy ladder of corporate success by licking boots and suppressing controversial subjects. But the pay is very, very good."

'I'm still trying to build up a following here, but I'm huge in Lilliput.'

"It's not much, but we've made it our own living hell."

"I find it helps me concentrate."

"Once upon a time there were these three little pigs. There was a neurotic little pig, a psychotic little pig, and a normal little pig . . . ."

Career counselor: 'If you want a great job, that won't be exported, get into politics.'

"What's so bad about being shoved into the oven?"

"Hi, I'm Hugo -- I'll be your compliance officer."

'Just out of curiosity, do you have a best case scenario?'