Funny Stories Aficionado Gifts

'....and how big was this bee, Sir?'

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

Zombie standup

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"What's a patent?"

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"Why do they do that?"

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

Easter Island legs

"Cat box"

Love at First Sight

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"Of all the buildings I've designed, it's probably the most handsome."

The Fourth Little Pig

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

"All natural snow cones for sale."

"Congratulations, Amruk. You prove they do exist."

"That's not how I sat on you."

Cut Price

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog