Silly Spider Saga Fan Pillows

"Sorry I'm late: I was hitching a ride but when the driver noticed me, he panicked and we had an accident..."

'This will be great for chase scenes.'

Star Wars vs Star Trek

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

"For drinks or dinner?"

'Seriously Vicar, I do not think you have seen this guy in the morning service!'

How was the Halloween party? Who was there? It was fun, except the Zombie didn't talk to anybody. The Grim Reaper was a real killjoy, and the jack-o-lantern made a fool of himself -- by the end of the evening he was smashed. Did the Black Cat or the Ghost attend? I crossed paths with a black cat but I don't know if the Ghost came to the party. All night it felt like he was right there but I never actually saw him!

It's spooky how Amazon can track you down

'Never accept the first offer, always hold out for more.'

Jackson Pollock the Spider

"At long last we've discovered evidence of a poultrygeist!"

OMG UR HOT

'Did spiders invent bungee jumping, Dad?'

Rosemary's Baby Supplies

Wotan with eye patch

'Been biting drunken bitches again, have we?'

"Do not, I repeat, do NOT light his candle."

"I don't care if he did follow you home—you can't keep him!"

Star-Spangled Danner Episode 4

'I'm just surfing the web.'

"I do appreciate that it eats other bugs, but it also ate my husband."

'Wow! Did you see who just flitted past? Count Dracula!'

Spiders in love

Trick or Treat. I got a very exclusive invitation to see the new horror movie -- it's a private screaming!

Spider watching his web cam.

"Bloody hell, Mavis. . . I was just doing yoga!"

Silly sausages

Scary Marshmallow Campfire Stories.

'Ah, I see a life filled with the usual cliches about black cats.'

'It's for you.'

The Neighbours from Hell....

'I don't know about you but I spend a fortune on shoes.'

"The dating scene is alright for you, female worms are everywhere! But when was the last time you saw a mummy-long-legs?"

A high tech spider with a Velcro web.

"Apologies, sir. The mansion is haunted by Randy, the master's late spaniel."