Silly Sales Strategist Pillows

'CROOOAX! If we ever want to sell this damned parrot, we better not anybody what he has done to his previous owners... CROOOAX! If we ever want...'

Larry's used art

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

"Jill Hamster's entrepreneurial disaster"

Sales.

"Thank you, Harris - I get the picture."

'We have to go global since nobody around here will buy our product.'

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

Sales Chart: Boomerangs LTD

Gerald Ratner's return

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

'One thing is certain. It's not just a seasonal slump.'

Competitior Sales - "Now I come to the feel good factor"

"Today we welcome back an old friend."

'Hank here brings 10 years of top sales experience to our company so let's all try to make him feel welcome while he makes you all look bad...'

Entertainment systems

'If you don't pay us, I'll tell all your creditors you have.'

"At bonus time, just don't forget where you get your intellectual property."

Sinking sales

"Okay, let me come at this question a different way: Does anybody here actually know how to sell anything?"

'Rabner is tops in customer retention.'

"I suppose that's what happens when 'putting customers first' comes second!"

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

'I think I know what the problem is!'

'Our sales have been uneven but our company has heart.'

Sales - We could try a 'free offer' but it would cost us.

"Give a man a fish, you cut your throat. Teach a man to fish, you're a damn fool."

'I know it's the truth, but on this promo for our site, do you think we should use the promo code 'desperation?''

I was hoping you might convince him by demonstrating the quality of the product.

"Our sales have slumped so much, we now have a couch for them."

Mirror Solves Problem of Down Trend in Sales 'Problem solved, J.B.'