Silicon Valley Explorer Gifts

Steve Jobs

"The stars were much more beautiful from Earth."

Boptimism

'Why can't you admit you're lost?'

When the ship needed to go faster than Warp Speed, the crew ate lots of pungent beans.

"Tommy? Hi, this is daddy. How's my big boy? Sweetie, daddy needs your help."

"Tinnitus?"

Thinking with the left side of the brain/Thinking with what's left of your brain.

'Can you believe it? - The doofus doesn't know whether this is the Alpha Quadrant or not!'

Obama's Theoretical Voting Record

"Nice design but you haven't quite mastered the technology!"

"Pride, Covetousness, Lust, Anger, Gluttony, Envy..."

Footballer kicking his own brain.

'Better buy one now - before they make them too big to fit into your house.'

Life in the fastest lane.

Computer tycoon, 'It's that nerd-do-well from next door,'

Elon Musk upset that 'X'is still referred to as 'Twitteer'.

Tech Corp: Personnel Openings - We've reached our quota of nerds, but we are looking to hire geeks.

Barack Skywalker

"How may I be of service?"

"Facebook VP — you'll be in Circle No. 4."

"Ladies and gentlemen, start your companies!"

For eons she lulled us into complacency with her whole orbiting satellite shtick... then, when we least expected it, the moon attacked.

How the bones got into the Le Brea Tar Pits

'Wow, thanks for putting it into context. My 42-inch plasma really is obsolete.'

"What do you mean, who are my influences?"

The absurd artist

"B*****d!"

Consumer care and technologies

"You have to admit that your chip looks a lot like their chip."

I'll do what everybody does–sell this startup just before we have to hire a female employee.

Gift Cards In Hell

'A long time ago we couldn't breathe their atmosphere..now it's really great!'

My turn! I spy, with my little eye

"When you said you wanted to be a doctor I thought you meant, maybe a cardiologist. What in the world is an astrophysicist?!"