Silicon Sage T-Shirts

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

The chip - Loyal worker, tireless teacher, friend

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

Jack Finds The Giant Grilling At His Giant Grill

"I got all 'Cs', but I call that an 'A' report card...'A' for 'Average.'"

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

Wikipedia...

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

Music producers.

One way only.

Gustav Holst

'It's not dead, honey. You've just never seen it turned off before.'

"I told you to order the mild salsa!"

'Well, that WAS an impressive string of obscenities, but I think I'll stick with the Hippocratic oath.'

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

'Do you think you can turn the company around without making us all dizzy?'

Computer spying.

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

'If you're going to stare at that thing all day, at least watch something educational,,, like Japan,'

"Why would YOU want to know the meaning of life?"

Gawk

"I'll be answering that question and many more in next week's webinar."

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

'Maybe I'm not a failure — maybe I'm just a late bloomer!'

Why god isn't listening...

"Well the good news is that the new software analysed hundreds of thousands of potential customers to identify any that would have a genuine interest in the product. . ."

'Yes, it's a very interesting show, but we really need to talk about all the time you waste watching it - perhaps during the next commercial break.'

'There goes Mr. Negativity.'

This one needs re-booting!

"Relax, at your age it's perfectly natural to make groaning noises every time you move a body part."