Silent Humor Fan Pillows

'Fine, I'll tip you, just let me out!'

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Trump Poutine

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

A Golden Non-Retriever

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

'More government surveillance!'

'Did you hear that? They said 'Hello' to you.'

'And we'll give you all the carcinogens you can eat.'

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

The Thinker?

How men process questions.

"He is walking from 'Lands end to John'o'Groats', virtually."

Germany: willingness for anti-corona vaccination decreases!

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

"There may be a moral equivalent of war, but, by God, there is not moral equivalent of money."

'Yes, I'm sure Latestagrossa is the patient's name, and not the disease!'

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

'It's the bank again... What I'd give for a bit of good old-fashioned heavy breathing!'

"That's right. An increase in your title!"

'It's all due to the birthrate falling drastically...'

Greenspanisms for sale (50c)

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

Biden Ignores the G7 Leaders on Afghanistan

"Italy just bought France."

Sign # 23 that you've spent too much time at a game: your nails are longer than your fingers and your hair touches your ankles.

"Now don't do anything flashy with the money, like pay off all your student loans at once."

"It's a long-term strategy to make them lazy and complacent first."